Attachment Anxiety from 365.25 by 185668232

video of me walking around the property coming soon?
365.25 - October 2 2020 gLy

Do not listen until you are home or never listen to them. My mind exploded; i feel no human attachment and anytime it begins, i have the immediate need tk stop the attachment because it only wastes me to try and keep people around who only want me for one thing two three thing, fine. And the comparison makes me have to stop talking entirely - I wish i could go back in time to before my parents got hurt

and I would just do everything instead of being what i am now. I
just want family that wants me and im not allowed so I have to push it alllll away. I need to sleep but messages keep coming in. I hope I can make life speed up again so I can just get jt over with already. Sitting making art feels like work, being of love feels like work. I really cannot do this texting thing when I dont feel well otherwise Ill just do emoji’s. Im trying too hard to make sense and putting my foot in my mouth trying. But i dont have anyone else im talking to anymore since you came here everyone slowly went away because I stopped paying them attention... these people i have barely known for 1-2 years so thats why they wont invest in being my emotional friend. Its why i wanna be married already... hanging out with humans feels so silly, like just waiting to be done the thing so I can go back to feeling exhausted pushing myself to do anything, especially love. My dudes are telling me to play with okcupid during covid and I just dont even care about meeting anyone new. I wish someone beautiful from my past would surprise me and be like, ‘yo; dude youve always been my favorite sorry i got stuck on someone else - i wanna be stuck on you’ and hopefully im not in the middle of something my soul wants me to do like the 365’s, or else they will think i hate them. Damn. I cant fall asleep. And my sister is drunk and jealous and i really just need someone to be silly with or something.

Well you are home now. Do good there for yourself. Ill talk to you in another dimension.

Its emotional labor and Im always on the clock because I am my own boss, not yet on a major label to buy agents, managers, lawyers, a property and big kid pillow fort hide out for artists who will die if they quit, like me. Im not good at instructions or being a robot tho i direly wish to be and neither is Maia but she is so insanely incorrigible

• Experimental
• avant garde
• glitch
• noise
• post-pop
• singer-songwriter
• Brooklyn