Forward Thinking from Ed's Sun by Aidan Fine

I’m sewing on what I reaped
Coraline button I found in my eye
I’m holding on by a thread
Fear
Prozac and ketamine
Trees and amphetamine
Sneeze at the chemist
He might get the Phenergan
Fucked up and called it Promethazine
I’m somewhere but not here
Took all that shit for my hair
Fucked me up more than I care
To admit, sent me to tears
Realised what I did
Sitting crying in my whip
SSR in my script
So suicide ain’t no risk


I’m fighting my fear for sleeping
Sitting in silence, listen for breathing
GP say OCD
And I been this way since I was a -
Breathe
That was a secret, keep it
Only one I ever told was Jesus
Ain’t told my therapist either
I don’t know why I’m still paying to see her
LSD’s way cheaper
Smoking weed to get to sleep but
That shit been fucking my dreams up
I’m tossing the green like a caesar
Plus she got history
I’m letting it slide
Cos it ain’t like she rolling her sleeve up
Hating myself cos I should’ve known better
I see where it’s going, I freeze up
Fear

Early sparrow speaking
Said she saw my dreams
Falling from the ceiling
Dirty air I breathe
All the hope I’m keeping
In your father’s jeans
Zip code, zip tie leaking
Sparrow in the trees

All that forward thinking
Did you just leave it in the past?
I ain’t have no clue
Try and try to wash it off
But these spots are all I got from ya
And the burns are, too

Burns or constellations?
Heaven only knows

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