A Process by Fawn Response

“A Process” is a multi tiered mixed media project that was created and captured by Savannah Rae, (who is the singer/songwriter behind the project “Fawn Response”). Savannah created and curated “A Process” during the first year of rehabilitation after life altering multi-organ surgery. It is both a printed collection of poetry, images, and lyrics, as well as a recorded album that includes the “voice memo demo” scratch vocals of 8 songs, all recorded as single-take voice memos on Savannah’s iPhone during her recovery.

From Savannah:
This project in total was an effort toward embracing imperfection and toward “starting where I was” and documenting my initial songwriting and healing process before I could fully walk or stand on my own . I couldn’t take full breaths, and my mobility and ability to stand for long was very limited , so my process for singing & writing had to shift in a lot of substantial ways. One of those ways included, dedicated time to writing poetry daily as opposed to singing .

As I regained my capacity to breathe more fully, I returned to singing and songwriting more regularly as well. Because I had decided to make my parlor my recovery room, I had access to the (untunable) early 1800’s Shoninger upright that came with my home. I used it sparingly to help me punctuate vocals and support me in anchoring more emotive intentions during my writing process, & to help myself remember that my drive and ability to help myself heal through creative expression is something available to me independent of circumstance or the tools/resources I have access to.

These songs and poems themselves are a chronological cross section of how I processed all that resulted from surgery and the stillness I was forced into, after being given a new chance at living.

This stillness and space to process ultimately led to me leaving my career of 16 years, as well as my relationship of nearly 10, and sparked an evolution in how I embody love for myself, and how I understand life and the world, as well as myself—-my wounding, my patterns, my needs, my worth, and my desires, and how I relate to others through all of it.

The project in total captures /speaks to the contradictions of :
-Being grateful to be alive, while still experiencing suicidality,
-Sexuality holding deep trauma while also holding an unmatched capacity to heal,
-Being innately sensual and sexual and wanting to express it as an extension of love of self or another, but also wanting to be known/loved/desired for more than sex ,
-The knowledge that relationships are what wound us but are also what catalyze our self knowledge and healing,
-The infinite impermanence of all things ,
-And the meaninglessness of most of what we give meaning to.

It’s lo-fi and wildly imperfect, in the ways a diary in earnest, would be.

Art as alchemy 🕯🖤

@fawn.response

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