slow days by hanzo_often

This is more of a compilation of things I made these past months. I struggled to make new things this past half-year. Here's everything that didn't suck.

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"The slow days are ending."

You might know that I'm a student who took a gap year to do... God knows what. I'm almost appalled that a year has already passed since and not a lot for me or with me has changed to be honest. The bitterness I felt making IDDOTSTYDA doesn't really resonate though in the things I've made and put on here so there's that for a silver lining.

At the moment, I've decided to release this as a sort of reflection over everything I've made this past 2022. Perhaps this is a bit impulsive as I feel as though my artistry has been extremely meager and non-present as I barely communicate or market my work, and this has all been rushed together because I felt like it... Tell you what, that last bit's on the fuckin' nose: I just wanted to put something out.

Funnily enough, I have a very strong feeling as a result that it is, indeed, the right time to make this decision; to release it on the first day of the week that I finally revisit an old institution that has opened many wounds that won't heal, and brought me a good chunk of my friendships that have been put on hold by me. Right now, it is better late than never.

The slowest days I've gone through these past year have been marked by days lounging on bed depressed, flipping through Ableton in the most frustrated manners possible, indulging in as much media that I can when I'm not demotivated, and, most important to me, growing older by a year. If that's not insane, then I don't know what is because I don't want to get older anymore. Then again, facing the inevitability can be the only way to accept it.

For that, I'm sort of grateful for the past year of nothing.

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Many thanks goes out to my cousin Sev and her hamsters, my father for being there no matter what, and a handful of my family for sticking up with me in spite of how unbearable I can be (not that they can be unbearable themselves but you know what they say about families being like that, at least the fortunate ones). I want to give credit to Jamie (High Life / Spearflower) for being an artist I've looked up to since we met on Twitter, and her friends on Twitter and Pepperland whom I may not talk to or interact with a lot but definitely keep a close and observant eye on because of their intelligence, wit, humanity, and love for all the things they love, ESPECIALLY music. I also want to extend all the best in the world to Skye, my closest confidant and friend whose very presence reminds me that I've definitely made some of the most-necessary choices in my life to be where I am.

This album is mainly dedicated to someone I hold dear and whom I have not talked to in a long while. I have much to say and, right now in this little note, I'm also at a loss for words... a deer in the headlights from a car that will never move, if you will. I guess those words will come when the time comes when we talk again.

To anyone who listens or buys this, I genuinely appreciate every morsel and/or chunk of your attention.

As per usual, I hope you're doing well and fine.

In the fields,
In the fields,
Gross fires
Alight.
Wandering flames.