Absolute Zero from Mistaken Identity by Jacob Haller

Well, I take Rosie out on Mondays and on Tuesdays I see Sue.
Then on Wednesdays I see Sarah, lord, she knows just what to do.
And on Thursdays I see Lisa and on Fridays Anna Lee,
Then I give myself a break. I like to keep my weekends free.

My friends say, "Jake, you oughtta settle down.
You're gonna regret your ways."
But if you think I'll ever stop running 'round,
Well, I've got news for you.
That'll never be true.
I'm afraid that I ain't gonna ever change,
'Cause my heart's at absolute zero.

[Spoken:]
All right. So absolute zero, it's the lowest possible temperature. It's 273.15 degrees below zero Celsius. That's fairly cold.
It's the temperature at which all molecular motion ceases, so for the purpose of this song I sort of think of it as the temperature of complete stasis. That's where I'm going with this.
All right, I guess that ends the chemistry lesson.

Well, you know all the ladies love me.
I sure try to treat them fine.
And if they ain't having a real good time,
well, I know it sure ain't my fault.

Now, I take Rosie out on Mondays and on Tuesdays I see Sue.
Then on Wednesdays I see Sarah, lord, she knows just what to do.
And on Thursdays I see Lisa and on Friday Anna Lee,
Then I give myself a break. I like to keep my weekends free.

My friends say, "Jake, you oughtta settle down.
You're totally out of control."
But if you think I'll ever stop running 'round,
Well, I've got news for you.
That'll never be true.
I'm afraid that I ain't gonna ever change,
'Cause my heart's at absolute zero.
Yeah, I'm afraid that I ain't gonna ever change,
'Cause my heart's at absolute zero.

• Alternative
• absolute zero
• chemistry
• physics
• providence
• rhode island
• science
• singer-songwriter
• solo
• Providence