surely from existential dreadful by MJ Bones

surely is about the inevitability of some of our demons. it’s a nod to generationally inherited traumas and behaviors. sometimes, we can and should blame our parents! they perpetuate environments for this shit to fester, neglecting to do the work and end the cycle. so who’s gonna break the pattern? will it be me? I sure hope so.

for my mom, for my grandma, for auntie Amy, for my cousin Kendra, for my brother Brandon. the cycle killed you all and part of me will never forgive you for succumbing to it. a larger part of me has so much love and compassion for you. I know that in a lot of ways, you couldn’t help it. and while you didn’t escape your fate in this lifetime, your martyrdom has been a catalyst for me to choose a different path at all costs. thank you. I love you. I hate you. I miss you.

Tracklist

7.	surely	3:33

Lyrics

if I could keep my hands from
goin down my throat
I would surely find them
wrapped around my neck
instead

there’s a funny little
big inside my head
buzzin around, singin
“end yourself and fuck the rest”
“end yourself and fuck the rest”

if I could keep myself
from flyin off the edge
I would surely be met
with one against my vein
cause I’m deranged!

don’t know who I am
separate from my pain
so I’ll hit self destruct
I tried my best
hit self destruct
I tried my best

if I could survive
without these little pills
surely I would find
another way to fill
this void inside of me
passed on from my mother
who got hers from hers
or something like that

a generational curse
or something like that
sacred family heirlooms
neither of us asked for
oh thank you mom and dad for
making sure
it went on in good hands

if Brandon could survive
without a needle in his arm
surely he’d have found
another way to harm
that heartbroke little kid
that lived inside of him
barrelin down the same road
his junkie father did

like god, why can’t we go back
to when we were just kids?
sneakin cups of coffee
playin ps2
walkin round gladstone
killin time until your dad’s home
sitting on the floor
while we hang out in my room

a generational curse
or something like that
sacred family heirlooms
neither of us asked for
but thank you mom and dad for
making sure it went on
in good hands

now excuse me
while I
stick em
down
my throat

Credits

from existential dreadful, released February 1, 2025
uke, banjolele, shaker, lyrics, “production”, visceral pain for the loss of my entire family to drugs, a history of self-abuse: MJ Bones

License