Micky Mould from Teatime Terrors by Monsieur Pompier's Travelling Freakshow

It was an average day, I had a number of tasks
Every day things, not much to ask
I had to water the flowers, bring the tools to the shed
Take my dog for a walk, and throw out the bread
You see the sell-by-date passed, so time to get rid
But I got confused as so often I did
I took the plants for a walk, and I threw out the tools
I watered my dog, and left the bread in the shed like a fool!
Weeks rolled by and I thought of that loaf
But procrastination had hampered this oaf
Sporadically I would say to myself
That bread must be mouldy and bad for my health
But every time that I got up to look
I'd lose myself in a song or a book
Until I got up the courage to finally cross that threshold
And greeting me there was old Micky Mould!

Micky Mould appeared on that weary Winters day
A living breathing souvenir of my forgetful ways
Everywhere I went, he was there
Cultivating cabbages and pulling at my hair
Pointing at the clock - shuts the door
Covers me in post-it notes as if they were his spores
Tapping on his wrist - not again!
And when I dozed he'd poke my nose with rusty odds and ends

My biology is playing tricks on me
It's psychopathy or just a fantasy

Shouts across the room
"Hurry up, there's garbage pails and fingernails just waiting to be cut"
Whispers in my ear
"Don't forget, your every move must be approved from now until your death"

Very soon, Micky Mould had taken control of my whole life
He grew bigger every day, until he was as big as a wardrobe
And with that, his power over me grew also

Can I have a party?
"There's no time! You didn't clean the dishes or scrub away the grime!"
Not even a drink?
"Not a chance, you need to sew the seam between the bottom of your pants"
Ah but what about my dog?
"He won't be missed, you haven't even scraped the surface of your to-do list"
My friends and family!
"Dead and gone, they dropped like flies from putrid pies since Micky came along."

My biology is playing tricks on me
It's psychopathy or just a fantasy
I've tried vitamins but now I'm sick of them
There's no remedy for Micky's malady

But Micky Mould why must I clean all of the dishes,
If I was to smash the dishes I wouldn't have to clean them at all
And every time I clean something - something else gets dirty anyway!
Can't I just do it another time?
And what about time?
Isn't time just a human invention?
When it's one time here it's another time there
And then there's daylight saving when the clocks go back or is it forward?
I mean when you really think about it time doesn't exist!
You don't exist!

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