Eggplant by NeatNeet

Rounding out The PhallicTrilogy, an acclaimed trilogy of phallic fruit rapping, Eggplant aims to immerse you in the finale of the fruits beef. (Wait that doesn't make sense)
The moment Mr. Eggplant, head of a powerful government sector, was ordered to apprehend the deadly Cucumber Killer. He starts working his magic by making a fire diss track to attack his opponent's morale.
Lyrics:
[Intro]
We’ve got a new case, Mr. Eggplant.
It’s the Cucumber Killer.
He’s a violent serial killer on the loose.
Often uses his Cucumber Slice Shurikens to blind his victims before ambushing them from the dark.
Huh, here at Eggplant Special Forces we do that every morning.
Who does this Cucumber guy think he is?
Tell the higher-ups to consider this case closed.
How should we go about this, sir?
We’re just gonna follow the standard procedure.
We’re gonna start by producing a banging diss track.
[Verse 1]
Uh. Yeah.
Cucumber be warned.
You’ll get eggplanted.
We’re the Eggplant Force and we’re no slouch.
We’re gonna shove our girth inside your little mouth.
You’ve got no training, ain’t got no game.
While the Eggplant junior can fly a jet plane.
Your kill count number is negligible.
I also do crimes, mine are just legal.
Backed by the government, we won’t have trouble
Killing you like all previous vegetables.
Ominous Onion and the Crippler Corn.
Planted them back right where they were born.
The Garlic Gang, criminals so adorn.
Flicked my fingers and they were all gone.
Forget it, buddy. You will not prevail.
Against us, your chances are looking frail.
You better save up to pay your cash bail.
You know “Jack the Pepper”? We put him in jail, buddy.
[Chorus]
Eggplant x3
[Verse 2]
You think you’re so special with your classifications.
Your skin benefits and antioxidants.
Yet those won’t matter against our agents
With our thick mesocarp impact absorbent.
Do you like salad? I do too!
And by this supper, you’ll be on the menu.
Not sure if it’s cannibalism when I eat you.
Nevertheless, my boss told me to go through.
Skinning potatoes isn’t battle experience.
Even on Cornhub, you won’t have an audience.
Rap Battle of centuryyyyy, it’s so obvious.
Cucumber’s gonna win! You can’t be serious cuz
Mass times speed equals power.
Eggplant has got both, cucumber got neither.
My fat ass will smash you six feet under
Before serving you on a silver platter. Come on.
[Chorus]
Eggplant x3
Tracklist
| 1. | Eggplant | 2:50 |
| 2. | Eggplant (Instrumental) | 2:50 |
