Genetic Illness by Ragk

released July 1, 2022

A visceral unpacking of the realities of being raised by an abusive, manipulative parent with narcissistic tendencies: what it's like to be used as a tool to shackle your other parent in an abusive marriage, what it's like to watch younger siblings be brought into this world well after you know the realities of what inevitably also be their upbringing, watching the facade crumble as you become an adult, and the inevitably learned behavior that unavoidably was permanently planted into your mind. By being abused and manipulated your whole life, you are, against your will, given the tools to and taught how to manipulate others for your own gain, how to hurt those you love. Above all else, it is necessary torture to rip this from your head.
Picture your mother so focused on beating the fuck out of you that she's speeding down a busy city street, swerving between lanes, and about to run a red light. Picture feeling certain this is how and where you die before you've even finished middle school. Hurdling towards the intersection where 23rd St turns into Clinton Parkway in Lawrence, Kansas, I was ready to accept my fate.