Personal Menorah from Sextraterrestrial by Roger Wodehouse

People often ask me
'Roger, why don't you do more songs
About the holidays?'
And it's because for many years
I was a Spontaneous Pagan
I didn't celebrate any holiday
Which I hadn't invented in the moment
But recently I've become intrigued
By a particular holiday
And I would like to explore it very much more
And this is a song about it

See you out on the street
With your raven-black hair
And I can't help but stare
As you enter the temple...
Temple Beth Israel
What goes on there inside?
What cantations are sung?
Are you speaking in tongues?
What's this candlelit orgy...
That you call Hanukkah?
Teach me your sensual Jewish mysteries...

Lead me to your temple
Play your Yiddish games
Strap me to your altar
Burn me with your flames
Cover me with dreidels
Cut me like your mohel
Show me all the secrets
Of your eight nights of oil

Eight nights
Of passion and pleasure
Eight nights
Blessed by Heaven above
You can use my body
As your personal menorah
Eight nights of love!

Will you open your ark
So our torahs can join?
Will you feed me those coins
Are they gold? Are they chocolate?
Are we human or animal?
I've tried geishas and sprites
Tasted tantric delights
And perverse Sapphic rites
Now I'm finally ready
To experience Hanukkah...
The most erotic of holidays

Grab me with your shofar
Strip my body bare
Love me like I'm Samson
Cut off all my hair
Tease me with your latkes
Desecrate my yarmulke
Let me be your chosen one on this Hanukkah

Eight nights
Of raw Semitic pleasure
Eight nights
Of sexual toil
Set me on fire
I'm your personal menorah
Eight nights of oil

Eight nights
You sweet exotic Jewess!
Eight nights
Our love will burn forever!
Eight nights
Baruch ata Adonai
Eight nights of…
Eight nights of light
Eight nights of wax
Eight nights of Sephardic rapture
Eight night of oil!

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