CURRICULUM VITAE from TICKLE MCNICHOLL™ by TICKLE MCNICHOLL™

I started work at the age of four maybe five
They ignored child labour laws at Wayne Enterprises
Yeah they ain't the nicest, nae surprise the pay was shitest.
I did some dark night shifts to pay the rent on time.
Apprenticed as a soldier of fortune. A great scheme.
I learned to problem solve and work as part of A-Team.
I did a few tasks at New Path escalating up the tree.
I made the cups of tea, I laced with substance D.
Precrime dudes don't have a clue what remorse is
And a minority reported I was using brutal force and
Aye well I don't always choose the suitable course and
At Tyrell I was more human than human resources.
And at the internship at Alchemax I'd binge and filled my mouth with snacks.
Til I got asked to stop it after porking out some more.
Worked on and off at Aperture. Fired and rehired and resigned.
Then right back in the office after walking out the door.
I'd like emphasise my tenure's generally long
And if I didn't work for Rekall I'm remembering wrong.
Plus I'm pretty sure I worked for Treadstone Seventy-One.
But I can't quite recollect though cos my memory's gone.
Then on to Gen-Sys maybe three months as a medical flunky.
If your intent is to pay peanuts then expect to get monkeys.
I did intense chores at Lex Corp, in one sec I'd get bored.
Then ConSec and next Zorg: the best in the country.
And the Umbrella Corporation had some excellent people,
But the CEO's a wanker and the president's evil.
I worked in Hanka on robotics. Had a crack at making chocolates,
Where the CEO's a Wonka with incredible treacle.
My communication skills are blatantly dope.
Was proving that chewing the fat back at Paper Street Soap.
I know that I was on the sick a little while at Monsters, Inc.
I think despite the problem kids I missed I basically coped.
Those dinosaurs at Ingen tried to screw me like a newbie.
Vought has non-disclosure forms. The guys at Veidt have sued me.
I worked a chain of burger chains with burger flipping duties.
Big Kahuna, Krusty Burger, Burger Shot then Moobys.
Then it was a stress at Stark. Busy as a hired hand.
Ended when they went and started nicking my inspired plans.
Said you aren't dressing smart: criticised attire and
Saying I'd get fired if I “don't give that shirt an iron man.”.
Alienated by my labour at Weyland Yutani.
I learned to trust my gut and fuck the catering its shabby.
Had an animus against Abstergo management admit it
Because nothing was permitted and the rate of pay was crappy.
Computer's skills are highly prized at Cyberdyne.
They try to find the kinda silent type the guy that likes arriving right on time.
The finest mind. Inspiring if he winds up in the firing line.
Your contract's terminated if you fail to make them happy.
Like the factory at Acme. Bored right to the back teeth.
Sick of the conditions and the foreman's quite the Nazi.
So when I saw the light and organised and brought the fight
And called a strike of all the guys: of course they tried to sack me.
Played the devils advocate at Thorn for a hefty wage.
I lost the bosses big wig he swore there was hell to pay.
Disposed a sacks of broken glass for dough at Nakatomi.
Got acrimonious demand the load of cash they owe me.
Down with OCP: yeah you know me. They said my cyber-human fusion was a pile of stupid bollocks.
My rise was super sonic. I designed consumer products,
But the Omni buggers dropped me cos they liked to boost the profits.
Yeah I missed a lot of lessons I'm a bored and listless learner.
Got Saturday detention when I called in sick at Shermer.
Earned my first degree at Greendale where my beers were mixed with chronic.
I've a correspondence doctorate I got at Miskatonic.

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