EXECUTIVE FLAVOR by DJ MONKEYNUTS

ULYSSA, the unpaid interns and mailroom gofer scabs at Monkeynuts Corp., humbly presents to you ‘EXCLUSIVE FLAVOR,’ a working-lunch buffet of steaming, footlong footwerk chilidogs ready to be sucked on down like a half dozen Coffin Bay King Oysters; seat-of-your-slacks, first-person shooter mushroom house stew; and rattling trunkfulls of shimmering, shaking high-fructose, hi-fi banana pudding. Soup-2-Nuts, CEO Leo ‘DJ’ Monkeynuts is here to present his fiscal year 2025/26 vision to the Mood Board of Directors, starting with the 30,000-foot view. “You buncha NPCs! I’ll make main characters outta you yet!” he barks. We're swiftly booted out the sidehatch of the Monkey Corp. private jet. And now his vision his speeding toward us at a terminal velocity of 180 mph. Blue sky thinking with your septum piercing shoved right up against your amygdala. On a deadly freefall straight down into the Homer Simpson Born Slippy concert. We make impact on top of an oblivious Peter Griffin avatar, killing him immediately and carving out a 40-foot monkeynuts-shaped crater. We send up a cloud of monkeydust so high they can see it all the way from Tomato Town. DJ Monkeynuts smoothly lands the jet nearby, nodding in approval. Contrapraneur, disrupter, copyright accelerationist. Son of Princeton, NJ climbing the corporate ladder like Donkey Kong with a thirst for plumberblood. We’re boiling the ocean here. No more low hanging fruit. No more putting a pin in shit. CEO DJ Monkeynuts demands of us a companywide Braindump. Boots on the ground; boots on necks. Time to open the kimono, comrades. So we beat on, stakeholders against the moving goalposts, circling back ceaselessly into the EOD. ‘EXCLUSIVE FLAVOR’ also marks ULYSSA’s first-ever Compact Disc release. Yes, a ULYSSA CD. CDz nutz???

CERTAIN
DEATH
MITIGATION
SERVICES
LLC

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