Love & Ponystep by Vylet Pony

I originally conceived "Love & Ponystep" (L&PS / LPS) in the Summer of 2023. I had just become friends with Tracey Brakes, someone who had FINALLY identified unwaveringly with my inexorable affinity for 2010's EDM, especially artists like Skrillex and Savant. We spent the Summer doing a lot of research about it, finding samples, instruments, and techniques that our idols used. I wanted to apply what she had taught me in an album, and I had figured Top Five Videos and Dubstep Growl would be perfect candidates for this experiment.

My focus shifted in and out of working on Monarch of Monsters at the time, taking small breaks to do my "Paradise Valley" and "Girls Who Are Wizards" (GWAW) projects, the latter of which was sort of an initial test of strength for these ideas. But, in the process of making GWAW, and subsequently Monarch, there effervesced profound and unresolved aspects of myself which had gone truly unexamined for far too long, with which I heralded the dissolution of my relationship. I was, and am, a creature incorporated of abandonment issues, paranoid dependencies, rampant jealousies, and selfish intuitions. I failed to change, failed to develop self control, and failed to examine these things with my therapist, despite being asked to repeatedly. I had done enough hurting, and I had become the porcupine I swore I couldn't be. And so, there I was. There we were not.

I finished making GWAW, then finished making Monarch. Then, I was left with this next record to do, one which I had conceptualized during a period of my life which I had initially perceived to be exciting, adventurous, and positive. But not only had this separation recontextualized what this album had to be, but I was reminded of how difficult I had always made things since the start. The last few years of my life were only so bright for me because I had cast an impenetrable shadow over the person who sacrificed everything to help me feel that way. I recognized that this album needed to be about a systemic, deeply interwoven mental struggle that required a truly exhaustive scrutiny to unfold.

Throughout the next few months, I got a BPD diagnosis, parted ways with my therapist, made new friends, started streaming more, and began taking part of a social space regularly for the first time in nearly 6 years. I spent so much of this time rehabilitating, learning, examining, and conceptualizing. Being appreciated and understood by my friends and discovering a stability and comfort in these friendships nurtured a small seed of self love inside of me. It became apparent, as this seed grew, that so many of my inhibitions had been rooted in self hatred. My traumas and paranoias festered a contempt which fed back into the very same afflictions. Because the less I hated myself, and the less I wished to punish myself, the less my paranoias convinced me that everyone around me had ulterior motives. I still heard the same thoughts in my mind, but now I had a stronger voice to confront these delusions. I am not the sum of my traumas, and I can't be acting like I am. I am far, far more than that.

I began to sew these things into the fabric of L&PS's story, articulating the concepts through the lens of Top Five Videos' (Vid) and Dubstep Growl's (Dub) breakup. A side quest eventually emerged as an inclination to experiment further and further with the original sonic thesis of the album. I sunk madly into the idea of deconstructing my favourite pop and EDM tropes and stitching them back together into amalgamates of progressive, chaotic musical suites. Love and Ponystep became a grand experiment with the aim to test the limits of pop arrangements, beat switches, genre fusions, and philosophical absurdism. How frenzied, silly, and experimental could I make this album while also telling a serious story and remaining in an accessible format? That is the question I answered.

All of these things are wrapped and nestled in a bed of personal examination and identity. I spent so much time rummaging through memories and passions, since I was spending so much time reflecting on myself and my progression as it was. I wanted to explore styles I hadn't yet, indulge nostalgias I was shy about indulging before, and redefine what so many of my interests and passions were to me. Love and Ponystep is a celebration of video games as much as it is a celebration of music. The album's tagline, "it's all about the game" is inspired by one of my favourite pieces of media ever, Freddie Wong and Rocketjump's "Video Game High School", a show I have always felt was under appreciated in its time and now. In the process of working on this record, I also ended up streaming Disco Elysium, which inspired me to reach out to Lenval Brown to collaborate on the album as well. I was also always a Call of Duty fan, for better and for worse; and as a trans woman, it's always felt weird to embrace that out of fear of leaning into some sort of traditionally masculine interest. So I wanted to see how gay and feminine I could take that shit lol. It is a reclamation of the highest caliber, no pun intended.

Lastly, this album is all about the relationships and the places that forged me. The good as much as the bad. Throughout this album I pay homage to Deery and PLG from PokemonFanClubs.webs.com, 2000's Pokémon fan website where I first started interacting with internet friends. Meeting them in 2010 kindled an excitement for the internet and creating stuff really early on in my life, which naturally had profoundly resounding effects. Deery is in fact the same person who inspired the song "BONNIE" on my album "CUTIEMARKS". This era of my life and so much of the musical inspiration of the time as well informed the decision to indulge in the Frutiger Metro and Vectorflourish visual styles of the time for this album.

And of course, I owe everything to the friends who took me in and renewed my faith in myself and everything. This album sonically encapsulates the vibrance, friendship, and artistry of my friends in Pilfcord. I have placed so much of myself into this album, and I offer it to thee.

It's all about the game ❤️

"gwen" "wolf" "trixie"

it/she

H3110 1 4M 4 R341 P0NY XD

site art by @nekosnicker, @ropehare_ , & @edenleicester

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